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Sunday, August 17th, 2003
1:44 am
"On My Own"
see all those people on the ground
wasting time
i try to hold it all inside
but just for tonight
the top of the world
sitting here wishing
the things I've become
that something is missing
maybe I...
but what do I know

and now it seems that i have found
nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
slow it down
without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

On My Own



Tonight was full of tears... I'm so upset.. and it hurts so much. Things will be better tomorrow.. hopefully. I hope I dont forget anything. That would be horrible.

*sighs*

Well, I'll write more on the subject tomorrow.. Good night all. See you guys later

current mood: crushed

(1 Naughty Position | Kama Sutra)

Saturday, August 9th, 2003
12:27 am - I'm bouncing off the walls again (whoa) I'm lookin' like a fool again!
Wheee!! Fun day/night ^_^ Lesse... what did I do? hmm...

Well, Lucas came over this morning to hang out before he went to work, which was a lot of fun because, well, I always have fun when I'm with Luke ^_^ Thhheeeeeeeenn.... I went to get my haircut, which is now nice and short again (ahhhhhh~!) Though I wish the back was a bit shorter.. anyway, then I went home and called Steven to see if we were still on for seeing a movie. He said yes and eventually came to pick me up around 8:45-ish. We went to AMC, bought some tickets to see American Wedding, and then decided to go "get something to drink, something we hadnt had together in a long time"

So we go to our Starbucks ^_^ And get the same drinks we always get there together. Grande Brownie Frappachinos! W000t! Then finally went to see the movie at 9:30. It was pretty kick ass. I liked it a lot. I'd recommend it. I dont know if it is funnier then the other two movies (mainly b/c I dont remember everything from the first two) but all in all I laughed, I cried, I had to go pee, I hit my head on Stevens arm out of sheer embarassment for Stiffler. It was good ^_^

Theeeeeeen... we couldnt decide what the hell we wanted to do after that.. Steven offered to show me the studio where his band practices, but I politely declined, and we ended up going to IHOP instead ^_^

Oh- My- God- I am sooooo full. It's one of those miserable fulls too. Where it's just painful to breathe.. *wheezes* Jeezus, I need to stop eatting late. I'm gaining a bit of weight in my abdominals. I dont like that. I dont like that at all...

It was great seeing Steven tonight.. It was amazing how it we managed to keep the convo going despite the large amount of time we've spent away from each other.. His hair is long.. not as long as yours Mac, but it's longer then mine.. (but then again most people have hair that's longer then mine)

I dunno.. it was just really nice to see Steven agian.. ^_^ I wish we could hang out more often.. I like it when it's just me and him. And I like how none of my friends really know who he is.. or hang out with him like I have/do. It's just.. I dunno lol. I like how my friends are all apart of different groups. Like Mike.. who the hell would have guessed that Mike and I were good friends? Mike is apart of a TOTALLY different clique. One that you dont see me hanging around with.. like.. EVER! But Mike is one of my best friends! I like that.. ^_^

I dunno, I like how I hang out with different types of people (damn you guys are so unique...especially you Brandon... XD) I just.. like that ^_^

Anyway, Steven and I made plans to see Finding Nemo b/c he hasnt seen it yet, and doesnt know anyone that would see it with him. So I volunteered myself to go with him ^_^ I like how he's into animation and cartoons (namely Pixar movies- which are created on Macintoshes I might add! XD ) So we're probably gonna go see that sometime next week when we're both free. I'm excited ^_^

Let's see.. I'm in a writing mood tonight.. but.. I just dont know what to write about! Oh, I know. When Mac showed up tonight to return Battle Royale, he wrote my mom a note which read:

Mrs. Hall,

Please become my mom's new best friend, after I leave for Texas Tech (Aug. 23rd). It would really mean a lot to me if you did. Thanks in advance.

Love
Mac ^_______^

And then he left a few phone numbers for my mom to get ahold of her. lol Mac's too funny ^_^

Oh! I finally got ahold of someone about the ROTC scholarship! I called today, and someone ACTUALLY PICKED UP! (I've been trying for the past week to get ahold of someone but all it kept doing was ring) But the guy I needed to talk to was not there, but I gave the receptionist my phone number and she said that he would call me back.. so that's good.

Oh man, I need sleep. I'll write more later. Night everyone!

current mood: full

(3 Naughty Positions | Kama Sutra)

Friday, August 8th, 2003
12:08 am - I tripped fell down aching
I am really going to miss everyone.. very very bad... It hurts. A lot. And it hurts b/c I know that I'll end up drifting away from some of these people that I dont want to drift away from. People I've told in the past that I'll keep in touch with, and then barely talk to now.. Though.. they were busy as well. I sort of lost touch with Lisa.. but.. she changed.. a lot. I feel bad, b/c she's always the one contacting me.. And then there's Steven.. who I will at least be able to hang out with tomorrow after my hair cut.. but he's been busy as well.. with band rehersals and school and work..

There are just so many people that I dont want to lose touch with.. and I am so bad at actually calling people up and making plans.. I think I'm slowly getting better at it.. but.. still.

I'm not ready to leave everyone yet.. or for everyone to leave me. Scratch that, I am ready.. I just dont want to.

I have 9 days left. How am I going to make this work in the last 9 days? I want to hang out with so many different people. I have YET to hang out with Mike this summer.. except for when me, him and Lindsey went to Chilli's that one day. I have plans to hang out with Lisa before I go.. plans to hang out with Sam and James, want to make plans to hang out with Brandon and Jess..

Stanley e-mailed me tonight.. it caught me by total surprise! I was so excited to read that it was from him! I even started to cry a bit b/c I was already thinking about all of my friends I'm going to be leaving soon.. and then another one of my friends found my e-mail by complete accident and then e-mail me telling me that he wants to talk to me before I leave.. I am definately going to miss Stanley a lot.. a lot a lot.. He's my buddy.. he makes me smile and says/does goofy things that most freshman would (and sometimes wouldn't) do lol. I just love my Stanley.. Being in the ROTC at UNT is going to be different without him..

I've been having a lot of crying fits lately... but.. I dont know if it's a side effect of the accutane or if it's because I'm leaving my friends and this is just a touchy subject/time period for me. I dont cry in front of anyone when it happens.. so .. I dont know. But it says that if I experience any of the side effects that I should inform my doctor. But, I dunno if I should do that now what with everything that's going on. And it's not like I'm going through the whole "suicidal side effect" so that's good. In fact, I havent really had any of the side effects... except the dryness of lips. But other then that, I feel great! Except when I think about leaving.

*sighs* God, I don't want to leave yet. Maybe I'll be ready by the time the time comes for me to go? I dont know. I dont want to leave my nice little comfort zone I have going on here. I dont want to leave my circle of friends (err.. not really circle of friends since I have friends from different groups of people) I dont want to leave my family, and food... lol. I dont want to leave my "I'm-acting-like-a-bad-ass" sister (she's going through a phase, I can still get her to break that exterior and laugh ^_^) or my Dog, Buddy.. lol.

I dont want to leave Mac, or Kristi...

I dont want to leave Lucas.. We're trying to see each other as much as possible before we leave.. but, we both know that it's going to be difficult, what with him being at work, and the two of us also wanting to see our friends.. It's just.. going to be hard.

Everything is going to be hard.

I need to stop writing about this so I can get some sleep.. I love you guys..

Alex

current mood: depressed in a happy way...

(1 Naughty Position | Kama Sutra)

Monday, July 28th, 2003
12:43 am - you knew what people would say about you
First day on Accutane...

*looks at herself*

I seem to be alright! lol. Nothing is falling off.. and I'm not ommiting any strange smells... and.. I'm not going crazy (not by my standards anyway..) So so far.. I'm pretty normal. Though I dont think I should drink caffine for a while- cuz I got a bit of a headache when I drank a Dr. Pepper.

Thanks to an ass hole named "Mr.X" and "Jr. Y" I have decided to make this a friends only journal ^_^

So those of you without LJ's have mainly Mr. X to thank for this!

*stretches and yawns* I am off to bed!

Night all! ^_^

current mood: satisfied

(5 Naughty Positions | Kama Sutra)

Saturday, July 26th, 2003
9:57 pm - Unconscious, or am I conscious?
Invisible Wounds - Fear Factory

Dark bodies floating in darkness
No sign of light ever given
Imprisoned in a world without a memory
Unconscious, or am I conscious?
Cut from the heart I am part of
Sometimes I feel as though I’m frozen in heaven

And I saw my own face in the dark and loneliness
And I saw my own face like a spark frozen in heaven

In dreams I see myself flying
Closer to the sun, and I’m climbing
Tried to touch the sun
But the brightness burned my eyes
Unconscious, or am I conscious?
Fell from the sky like a star
Sometimes I feel as though I’m frozen in heaven

And I saw my own face in the dark and loneliness
And I saw my own face like a spark

Dark
My life was so dark...
My mind was so dark...
Everything was dark

Unconscious, or am I conscious?
Fell from the sky like a star
Sometimes I feel as though I’m frozen in heaven

And I saw my own face in the dark and loneliness
And I saw my own face like a spark frozen in heaven
Dark bodies floating in darkness...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Everything just seems so hectic at the moment. It's like I'm stuck in this horrible time warp, and things are going by way too fast. So many things that havent been said. So many things I havent done yet. There's just so many things I'm not ready for! But at the same time..

GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

ARRRGH! I'm so frustrated at the moment and I dont know why!!! I feel lonely at the moment. I want to hang out with someone.. but there is no one.. so I'm screwed at the moment lol. Though Lindsey is prooving to be great company (as always! ^_^ Thank you Lindsey!)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
o.0 Wow, you learn something new every night...
A Convo with me and Lindsey:

Wind (11:00:17 PM): Feline..Tish..
Wind (11:00:19 PM): She gave me a dental dam XD

Michiru25 (11:00:26 PM): huh? lol

Wind (11:00:27 PM): And said, "I'm just lookin out for my baby D!"
Wind (11:00:31 PM): ..Dental dam!

Michiru25 (11:00:36 PM): ...
Michiru25 (11:00:43 PM): *sweatdrop*

Wind (11:01:01 PM): XDDD
Wind (11:01:13 PM): I thought it was cute
Wind (11:01:22 PM): It's vanilla flavored!
Wind (11:01:25 PM): lmao

Michiru25 (11:03:39 PM): what.. is it?!?!?
Michiru25 (11:03:46 PM): oooOOOooooo vanilla...

Wind (11:03:53 PM): lol
Wind (11:03:56 PM): A dental dam??
Wind (11:03:57 PM): Oh god!
Wind (11:04:00 PM): It's like the lesbian verison of a condom
Wind (11:04:01 PM): XDDDDD

Michiru25 (11:04:06 PM): lmao
Michiru25 (11:04:09 PM): how so?

Wind (11:04:21 PM): If you're like
Wind (11:04:26 PM): Eating a girl out, to put it crudely

Michiru25 (11:04:31 PM): yeah...

Wind (11:04:32 PM): You put that over her.. yunno
Wind (11:04:32 PM): Or..
Wind (11:04:37 PM): You put it over your mouth
Wind (11:04:39 PM): Or tongue or..whatever

Michiru25 (11:04:42 PM): ...

Wind (11:04:47 PM): I...wouldn't ever use it
Wind (11:04:52 PM): It's SO much fun to have it
Wind (11:04:52 PM): But..
Wind (11:04:54 PM): No.

Michiru25 (11:04:59 PM): so it's like.. a tounge condom?

Wind (11:05:12 PM): lol Sorta. You just sorta have it between you and the girl.
Wind (11:04:56 PM): I .. like...the taste..
Wind (11:04:57 PM): And..
Wind (11:05:00 PM): The feel..

Michiru25 (11:05:11 PM): you tasted it?!?!

Wind (11:05:13 PM): No!!
Wind (11:05:16 PM): I like the taste of GIRLS
Wind (11:05:20 PM): Which is why I wouldn't ever use one

Michiru25 (11:05:38 PM): lol
Michiru25 (11:05:46 PM): alright... *snickers*


~*~*~*~*~*~*

lmao- I feel better ^_^

Lindsey might actually be comeing down again in like... 10 days lol. That would be so kick ass.. Originally I was supposed to go up there.. and my mum was all cool with it.. but then she wanted me to stay home on account of the accutane cuz she wanted to see how I would react to it and what not.. ANYWAY! *rolls eyes* Lindsey might be coming down here.. it's not exactly a definate though.. but it would definately kick much ass! XD

*sighs* I'm in one of those moods... where.. I dont feel like contacting people.. but I want them to contact me? lol, stupid I know. I blame this on going to bed late, waking up early, sitting on hard ass bleachers all morning, and then being in a car for about 3 hours coming home. I guess being in a car that long drains me..? I dunno. Someone save me.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Before college.. I want to get together with everyone.. One day I wanna just hang out with Brandon, Jess and Amanda.. and another day devoted all to Mac, and Mike, and Kristi and Lucas etc... *sighs*

I stand by my current statement, "Someone save me"

current mood: lonely

(5 Naughty Positions | Kama Sutra)

4:55 pm - So here I am it's in my hands...
*sighs* There are some moments, where I wish I lived in Alton with Lindsey.

This is one of those moments.

College sounds so scarey.. we're all getting closer and closer to it.. ahhhhhhrrr! I dunno. I know that most of my friends will be within driving distance to home within an hour. But.. I wont have that privelage. Which is good, right? It's going to be nice... just being up there on my own. I wont be able to come home when I want to.. which, I am sure, will probably suck sometimes.. It'll be like I'm living a totally different life. Even when I look at my picture now, I dont see myself. It's like looking at a stranger..
I dont know how often everyone has an out of body experience, but I get them all the time. Mainly when I'm walking down the stairs for some odd reason o.0
Perhaps "out of body" is the wrong term. But.. it's like, I constantly question, "who the hell am I?". This flesh, this being, me- it's all.. too wierd. I am just one person in a world of people who are self centered and only do things to promote thier own lives (myself included). Of course, not everyone is like that 24/7- but.. we all have our moments.
I have no idea at what I'm getting at here. And if you have any idea what the hell I'm talking about then please tell me.

College will be fun. I just wish I knew what I wanted to major in...

Karen did so awesome at Tae Kwon Doe in Austin! She kicked some major ass (litterally)! Let's see... she recieved a bronze in her patterns (this was out of like.. 10 kids who were also green belts) and she got a gold in sparing! w00000t! (this was out of 5 kids) She kicked the first girls ass. Actually, the girl got like, one point on Karen, but karen just kicked her in the head.. twice XD And won that match.

I guess I should explain the point system huh?
Ok, you get 2 points for kicking someone in the head
one point for punching them in the chest
minus one point for punching them in the face
minus X amount of points for hitting them below the waist
And a disqualification if you make the other person bleed.

Ok, so they're given two minutes to Spar, and whoever gets to 4 points first, or whomever has the most points at the end of two minutes, wins!

So karen kicks the girl in the head twice (it's amazing how high she can get her legs up 0.0 most of the time they were too high and went over the kids head) Then this boy and a girl spared, and she punched him in the face and made him bleed- so she was disqualified. Then the boy spared Randy (a boy in Karens class) and they tied with 0 points. So they spared again, and whomever got the first point won. So the boy won again, and they made Karen get up to fight him. Karen kicked him in the head twice, and won the match! lol HORRAY! The boy didnt even land a punch on her.

I was getting so excited on the sidelines. I was like, "KICK HIS ASS KAREN!!! GET HIM! KICK HIM! KICK HIM IN THE HEAD!! HAAAAA!!!" And when she won I was squealing and bouncing up and down XD I'm so proud of her. She's so good at this. I love watching her do her patterns. She's so clean and crisp, and shows a lot of power. It's awesome. And she doesnt even look phased or anything.. She's all business. Like me when I still played volleyball..

Ahh memories.. I still miss it sometimes.. I dunno.. maybe it's because volleyball was something I was good at.. something I would get so into, and so serious with. Nothing mattered when you were playing. It didnt matter who was watching you, or what was going on with your life outside the court. It didnt matter what was for dinner that night, or if that certain someone would call. I just.. played. And I loved playing. I loved getting bruises and diving for the ball and spiking it. I loved the fact that I could jump higher then most of the players on my team lol. Too bad my hight came to my disadvantage.. Except for in the back court I guess.

What the hell happened to it all? When did it start going bad? When did it stop being fun for me? *sighs* Jess, maybe you know what the hell I'm talking about. I have no idea if you miss it every now and then or not.. Most of the time I dont miss it. I guess it's only when I go into a high school gym and see the schools volleyball record and all of the signs supporting the team.

I'm getting all sappy.

*sighs* Alright, I think I'm gonna go now. Probably call Mac or something. Make him eat korean food with us.

current mood: tired

(3 Naughty Positions | Kama Sutra)

4:20 pm
Woo Hoo! Home early!8

current mood: tired

(Kama Sutra)

Friday, July 25th, 2003
12:22 am
FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKIDY FUCK FUCK FUCKIN' CRAMPS! Aarrrgghhh!! *falls over*

Why do they huuuuuuurt? I never, stress on the never, EVER get cramps when I'm on my period.
At least they're not TOO bad, but still, they are an annoyance...

Gonna start Accutane! PRAY FOR ME b/c it's got a lot (and I mean a LOT) of cautions and side-effects to it. Imma get pretty skin! And then I'm getting off that shit, cuz it fuckin scares me.

Anyway, I swear to God I had a point to this whole journal entry. I know I was supposed to post the lyrics to Sugarcult's "Hate Every Beautiful day" But.. I dont feel like it. It's not like the lyrics have any sort of reference to my life anyway ( not at the moment, I mean), I just think it's a kick ass song!

I'm not sure if I'm mistaking the cramps in my stomach for hunger, or if I'm actually hungry...

Saw Scarey Movie 2 last night. It sucked lol.

Sable! I hope you're having a great time in LA!! or wherever the hell it is...

*sings* Stacy's mom has got it going on! something something something.. Stacy cant you see that you're not the girl for me?? I know that it might be wrong, but I'm in love with Stacy's mom!

XD Lindsey is right, that song is rather catchy!

Hmm.. this post had absolutely no relevance whatsoever... meh, oh well, my journal, not yours! XD When I think of something good to write about then I will.

OH! I saw Clerks the cartoon series today! XDDD Thanks to my partner in crime, Mac! (once again, I wish that BOTH of my partners in crime lived where I did, but I degress, Lindsey HAS to live in Illinios.. ^_^ j.j! I understand!) In all seriousness though.. Lindsey is more evil then you are Mac... after all, she is a klepto.. XD *runs away from Lindsey*

Watched Dogma!! That has to be my FAVORITE Kevin Smith movie...

Alright, I'm out!

current mood: silly

(11 Naughty Positions | Kama Sutra)

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003
3:44 pm
What Are The Symptoms of Schizophrenia?

In children with schizophrenia, behavior changes may occur slowly, over time, or have a sudden onset. The child may gradually become more shy and withdrawn. They may begin to talk about bizarre ideas or fears and begin to cling more to parents. One of the most disturbing and puzzling characteristics of schizophrenia is the sudden onset of its psychotic symptoms. The following are the most common symptoms of schizophrenia. However, each child may experience symptoms differently.

Early warning signs of schizophrenia in children may include:

distorted perception of reality (difficulty telling dreams from reality)

confused thinking (i.e., confusing television with reality)


detailed and bizarre thoughts and ideas


suspiciousness and/or paranoia (fearfulness that someone, or something, is going to harm them)


hallucinations (seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not real such as hearing voices telling them to do something)


delusions (ideas that seem real but are not based in reality)


extreme moodiness


severe anxiety and/or fearfulness


flat affect (lack of emotional expression when speaking)


difficulty in performing schoolwork


social withdrawal (severe problems in making and keeping friends)


disorganized or catatonic behavior (suddenly becoming agitated and confused, or sitting and staring, as if immobilized)

odd behaviors (i.e., an older child may regress significantly and begin acting like a younger child)

A D V E R T I S E M E N T:

Apply online for affordable health insurance plans today.

The symptoms of schizophrenia are often classified as positive (symptoms including delusions, hallucinations, and bizarre behavior), negative (symptoms including flat affect, withdrawal, and emotional unresponsiveness), disorganized speech (including speech that is incomprehensible), and disorganized or catatonic behavior (including marked mood swings, sudden aggressive, or confusion, followed by sudden motionlessness and staring). The symptoms of schizophrenia in children are similar to adults, however, children, more often (in 80 percent of diagnosed cases), experience auditory hallucinations and typically do not experience delusions or formal thought disorders until mid-adolescence or older. The symptoms of schizophrenia may resemble other problems or psychiatric conditions. Always consult your child's physician for a diagnosis.








--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Copyright 2001-02 Inside Schizophrenia. All rights reserved.


Mr. X, is this you? Are you schizophrenic?

current mood: curious

(9 Naughty Positions | Kama Sutra)

Saturday, July 19th, 2003
12:07 am
Mr. X, who are you?

Just wondering...

*sighs* I wanted to talk to Lucas tonight, and hang out with him.. but yeah.. didnt work out. We talked around 7 ish and he invited me to a movie with him and a few other people. I agreed and asked him to call me when he got off work. So around 8:30 I still hadnt heard anything, and I was in my bed, and well.. I sort of drifted off to sleep untill 9:30 when I came back downstairs to find mum on the freakin internet!

GAH! she said that she wasnt on there that long.. but still.. I probably missed the phone call (if there was one, I mean) So I called him back, and no one picked up ( i figured he was at the movie by then) and when he didnt call back about 30 minutes later, I just got on-line and figured that I'd stay in for the rest of the night. Just as well anyway, I'm freakin tired. And I guess the movie they were seeing wasnt exactly that of my choice, but still. You know how it is when you just want to hang out with someone, you dont care what the hell you do, just as long as you get to be there with them. Oh well.. maybe tomorrow?

Speaking of tomorrow, I need to pick up my pictures.... will do. *sighs* alright, I'm out.

current mood: curious

(7 Naughty Positions | Kama Sutra)

Monday, July 14th, 2003
1:24 am - Peek-tures!
Ok, I just realized that Lindsey had these pictures on-line, So I'm posting a few! (in the order of which they happened)


Me and Lindsey in front of the arch, this was before we went inside.


This is us acting goofy inside the waiting area to get onto the "pods" to take you up to the arch (this is actually underground). Inside was like.. a little museum/tourist shop/waiting area.. Lindsey and I ended up sitting down on the floor in the museum half of the place, where we talked about random things and what not for about an hour untill it was our turn to ride the pods to the top of the arch. It was fun ^_^


This is us inside the Arch looking out at all the tiny little people-ants! The arch, in my opinion, kicked ass! I dont think Lindsey was too thrilled about being there though lol.



This is us at the Spaghetti FACTORY not warehouse... We were both crammed in this chair and started goofing off with the light shade, scuz it was in our faces. We were all, Ooohhh.. Loookit! I'm inside the lamp shade! And her mum just so happened to catch us and take our picture lol.



Us waiting for our meal at the Spaghetti Factory. I'm making a star with my straw wrapper... lol ^_^

Tis All for Now! I still have to get my roll of film developed... So once I get that done, I'll send them to her for her to post on the net! She doesnt know that yet.. lol ^_^ Love you Lindsey!

current mood: good

(8 Naughty Positions | Kama Sutra)

Saturday, July 12th, 2003
9:24 pm - I was wondering if I'd get one of these..
Questions asked to me by my dear friend Brandon ^_^



1.Why don't you want to do anything with singing career-wise? You're great, and I don't want to see you give it up.

~wow.. umm.. you're the first person that's ever said something about a musical career for me (and shown an interest in me not giving it up) Well.. I dont plan on becoming a famous singer one day (though I do fantasize about it a lot- and I've been trying to write lyrics for "future songs") But.. I dunno. I plan on auditioning for the UNT choir.. and who knows maybe I'll end up being a choir director or something.. I just dont know what I want to do with my life yet, so I'm not ruling anything out ^_^

2.When are we going to go karaoke-ing to Cruisin' (without friends, so they don't hear me)?

~lol, as soon as we both get up the nerve to sing in a karaoke bar.. or we could just try and find a karaoke version on the net? Then we'll meet up and just belt out a tune and hope that it's good! lol.

3.How long have you and Lindsey known each other, and did your mom know you met online?

~Let's see... Lindsey and I have known each other since September 27, 2000 (our sophomore year) and have (obviously) still remained friends! =D Yes, mum knows that we met online (err.. pretty sure she does.. o.0) though there are a few other people who think that we were friends all along and she just moved away or something...

4.What are we going to do without each other?

~*cries* I dont know!! *huggles you and doesnt let go* I'll probably wonder around UNT babbling about you to all of my friends, and then show them the tape that you and me made for our commercial in Eco (lol) I still need to make you a copy too... Dont worry, you'll get one. And then our sexual urges (or lack there of) will be ful-filled when we see each other in the holidays!

5.Do I stress you out with my backwards, inside-out sweater?

~Yes. But in a very VERY good way! ^_~

=Dh

(3 Naughty Positions | Kama Sutra)

1:27 am
"Take this, and dont give it to ANYONE! RUN! RUN!!"
I take the object and turn around.. THUNK

*gasp*

*eyes grow wide, turns over in bed, now facing the ceiling*

*hears shuffleing noises outside her window* .....

*peeks through the blinds and sees a car she doesnt recognize. Lets go of the blinds*

THUNK!

*walks into dad's office and looks through the curtains in there. See's Amanda walking to the car*

*whistles for Amanda and lets her inside*

and that was my morning!!
You freakin' scared the crap out of me dude!

I had just fallen asleep two hours prior to the throwing of dirt at my window, and now, here she was at my house at 6 AM!!

I actually found the whole situation quite amusing once my heart rate went down. And to tell you the truth, I really didnt mind her coming over at all. I just wish she did it when I was still awake at 4 AM...

oh yeah dude, mum found your cup of coffee... lol. I told her that you showed up at 6 AM.. She laughed.

Anyway, my day my day... my day was full of sleep. ^____^ Lucas called from work and asked if I could pick him up at 3. So I did, and we went to grab some food. After food we hung out at my house for about an hour, then mum called and asked if I could pick up Karen. So we went to the daycare, got Karen, then went back to my house so Karen could get some money for hair dye. Proceeded to Sally's Beauty Supply, bought the goods, then went to Target and looked around while Lucas bought a new belt! lol.

Went back to my house, Karen and Mum went to Tae Kwon Doe.. Lucas and I chilled some more, went to his house, ate pizza, and watched some anime about a maid who use to fight crime (she's an android- gotta love anime, right?) We were gonna meet up with the rest of the group and go to Tinseltown to see Pirates of the CariBBean, but stuff happened and they decided that they were just gonna go to someone's house and watch a movie. Well, Lucas and I still wanted to see a movie, so we left for the theaters to see the 10:45 showing of Pirates of the Caribbean. Arrived at Tinseltown, and found out that there was no 10:45 showing... and saw The Leauge of Extraordinary Men, which actually prooved to be a good watch. Dr Jeckle/Mr Hyde was my favorite! ^_______^

Thhhheeeeeennnn... went back to Lucas' house to find Keith in the front yard.. Turns out that Rachel Napp and umm.. Rutherford (sp?- is this even the right guy?) had been there before and left a toilet paper wrapper in their front yard. Well, seeing as Keith is kinda like me and stays up all freakin night, he heard them. I dunno if he scared them off or what, but they left.

Ok, storytime! Ever since Lucas became drum major, these 3 chicks ( i think) have been trying to wrap his house all year. They did it to the other two drum majors and Lucas is the only one they havent gotten away with. Which, in my opinion, is rather expected, b/c Lucas and his family are ... rather prepared in case of an attack... In other words, they have a lot of luck, and manage to stay up late on the right nights. It's kinda funny, scuz the first time it ever happened Lucas' dad was involved lol. It's just funny to watch Lucas and Keith work out a plan of action. yeah.. definately the wrong people to mess with... They're just crazy like that I guess! XD

Anyway, they ended up coming back! that was a funny sight. Rutherford drives a Saturn, and when Keith picked it out, it had already driven half way down the street. Once they realized that we were outside, they quickly put the car in reverse and backed all the way down out of the street. lol. It was funny. So the three of us are chillin outside, Keith then goes in to get his paintball gun (well, a realistic looking toy gun, with paintball pellets.) and the three of us wait some more. They come back again (about 5-10 minutes later) and actually roll up to us and say that they were actually gonna steal their band sign.

Lucas: oh. You cant do that.
Rachel: Why not?
Lucas and Keith: Because our parents chained it down!
Me: *laughs at the irony*
Rutherford: are you serious?
Keith: yup!
Lucas: Ever since last year when those people were going around stealing JV lawn signs, our parents decided to pad lock it down..
Me: I remember that happening...

All in all, a fun night! lol. *sighs* Alright, I must be off. Rather tired...

current mood: tired, sad, content...

(1 Naughty Position | Kama Sutra)

Thursday, July 10th, 2003
4:43 pm
The most beautiful thing in the world...


*sighs deeply while looking dreamily at it*

Oh how I want you...

current mood: dreamy

(Kama Sutra)

Sunday, July 6th, 2003
6:29 pm
http://orgs.unt.edu/asps/


XDDD

The Albino Squirrel Preservation Society at the University of North Texas!

I am SOOOOO joining this club when I get up there! lol.



current mood: giggly

(1 Naughty Position | Kama Sutra)

Saturday, July 5th, 2003
1:38 am
What a night. All I gotta say. It was fun overall. I wish that Lucas didnt get hurt though...

They were setting off fireworks, and a spark or something got into his left eye.. This was towards the end of the night.. before the police officer came by and told us to "clean this shit up and get out of [there]" Nice guy. Really.

But Lucas is alright.. I had no idea what was going on at first. I just saw a bunch of people across the street all bunched up. It looked as if someone was looking for something in the grass. I was sitting on top of a car talking to.. crap.. who was I talking to? Elly? Nagam? Dont remember.. then I asked, what happened? And nodded in that direction.

Random person: "That's lucas on the ground, something happened"

Me: shit.. *runs over to see what happened*

Well.. he can still see! I think he poped a blood vessle though.. cuz it was really red.. thank God it didnt hit the pupil or anything. At first he said that he couldnt see anything.. but it slowly came back. Then we all had to get home. He managed to drive.. then he took me home. He just called me to tell me that he got home safely and that was that..

I offered to take him/pick him up from work tomorrow if he needed me too.. He had told me in the car that it was really hard to drive. Poor guy. He should skip out on work tomorrow.. He's gotta work a double.. so.. yeah. He should not go in.

I realized something tonight. What did I realize? I realized that even if Lucas were to go blind, I'd still love him and I'd still marry him. Not that he's asked me to marry him or anything, it was just one of those thoughts. Like.. how guys would say that they'd still do a fat chick just to get laid. Not that I'm saying I'd marry Lucas just to get laid... but.. it's the principal damnit.

I realized that if I love a person enough.. I'd still want to be with them, no matter what may be physically or emotionally wrong with them. *firm nod* I like this new quality..

I'm just glad that he's okay..
Check you guys later. Hope everyone had a great Fouth of July! ^_^e

current mood: worried

(Kama Sutra)

Thursday, July 3rd, 2003
1:44 am
*sighs*

I miss my partner in crime... no, not you Mac, my OTHER partner in crime!

LINDSEY! COME BACK TO HOUSTON!!!!

Actually, mum really wants her to come back soon.. I said December.. and she said start saving.. lol. I knew once after we met the first time that all times proceeding that would be simple...

My parents want her to come back, her parents want me to visit again... we want to see each other again soon.. so.. yeah.

lol, watch this be an every 6 months kinda thing.. lol

She would complain about the heat down here in the summer.. and I would complain about the coldness up there in the winter.. it's PERFECT!! MUAHAHAA!.

*sings*
Michiru25 (2:49:57 AM): do you think that i could get some?
Lindsey (2:50:02 AM): chickie chickie!
Lindsey (2:50:20 AM): maybe gessa little FEEN-gah, sticky sticky!
Michiru25 (2:50:26 AM): lol
Lindsey (2:50:57 AM): You my electrical lip balm flavah
Lindsey (2:51:05 AM): I gotta do ya til the next song saves ya!
Lindsey (2:51:09 AM): and -- okay I'm stopping now lol
Michiru25 (2:51:17 AM): lol
Michiru25 (2:51:20 AM): dang...

=D

XDDD

*sighs*

Lindsey... come back to houston quickly, k? *thrusts head violently to the side*

alright.. I'm out... to do.. sleep. and dream... and cuddle with a shirt.. *^_^*

night all.

current mood: amused

(5 Naughty Positions | Kama Sutra)

1:24 am
*flies around naked*


8 o'clock, Monday night and I'm waitin'
To finally talk to a girl a little cooler than me.
Her name is Nona, she's a rocker with a nose ring,
She wears a two way, but I'm not quite sure what that means.

And when she walks,
All the wind blows and the angels sing.
She doesn't notice me!

Cause she is watchin' wrestling
Creamin' over tough guys
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes

It's like a bad movie
She is lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"

As I fail miserably,
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.
She's the girl all the bad guys want!

She likes the godsmack and I like agent orange
Her cd changer's full of singers that are mad at their dad
She says she'd like to score some reefer and a forty
She'll never know that I'm the best that she'll never have

And when she walks,
All the wind blows and the angels sing.

She'll never notice me!

Cause she is watchin' wrestling
Creamin' over tough guys (*laughs*)
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes

She likes 'em with a mustache
Racetrack season pass
Drivin' in a Trans-Am
Does a mullet make a man?

It's like a bad movie
She is lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"

As I fail miserably,
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!

There she goes again
With fishnets on, and dreadlocks in her hair
She broke my heart, I wanna be sedated
All I wanted was to see her naked!

Now I am watchin' wrestling
Tryin' to be a tough guy
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in my eyes
I can't grow a mustache
And I ain't got no season pass
All I got's a moped...moped....moped.....

It's like a bad movie
She is lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"

As I fail miserably,
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.

She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
(There she goes again)
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
(There she goes again)
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!

My new Feel good song! w00t!

So tired, bed sounds nice..

current mood: tired

(Kama Sutra)

Monday, June 30th, 2003
4:30 pm
man, what a bitch... The GSA was denied... =\1

(7 Naughty Positions | Kama Sutra)

Sunday, June 29th, 2003
6:16 pm
*sighs*

I miss her already...

It's not fair, why do we have to live so far away form each other?

*breathes out*

Baby mine, don't you cry.
Baby mine, dry your eyes.
Rest your head close to my heart,
never to part, baby of mine.


Little one, when you play,
pay no heed what they say.
Let your eyes sparkle and shine,
never a tear, baby of mine.

If they knew all about you,
they'd end up loving you, too.
All those same people who scold you,
what they'd give just for the right to hold you.

From your hair down to your toes,
you're not much, goodness knows.
But, you're so precious to me,
sweet as can be, baby of mine.



....

I had so much fun with her these past 11 days.. But it's a guarantee that we will see each other again... So that's nice ^_^ Before I left from her house in Illinois, her family kept saying to me, "the next time you come up..." *smiles* That made me feel warm inside ^_^

It's going to be strange waking up and not having the luxury of hanging out with her day in and day out...

damn..

We had waited almost three years to see each other.. This was the third summer since we've known each other.. and we finally got to meet.
She was everything I expected.. and then some.. ya know? I now have a more real idea of her.. instead of just.. a screen. I now have actual memories.. and I know what she would look like, or sound like in person when we talk on-line from now on. My whole perspective has changed to an even better one. It was great.. she was great. She still IS Great..

It was so sad to see her walk away from the security stand.. It was like, once she got through, and we couldnt follow her anymore.. I started crying.

I cant write anymore on the subject, I'm gonna start crying again...

current mood: =\

(Kama Sutra)

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